I heard the email come in,
a little chime that gave me
that sinkin’ feelin.’ I looked
at the screen. It looked at me.
And the email sat in bold.
Unread. Received 1 minute ago.
The subject read ‘Updates,
for your purchase from M4Magpie.’
My eyes skimmed down, searching
for good news. But my gut
was telling me, I was gonna lose.
The words ‘Out of Stock’ stung
my heart like a wasp. My money
would be returned to me,
to make up for my loss.
I looked away and it went off again.
Cheeping like a chick: “don’t turn away,
look at me! Feed me! Feed me! Feed me!”
Samantha J. Kennedy at gmail dot com
was sitting there.
I couldn’t bring myself to open it,
I didn’t dare.
The noise , oh the emails! All
Her gift wasn’t sorted and her evil
woman senses knew.
So she dropped emails
Every 20 seconds.
Tomorrow I would see her,
Not even roses as a gift.
“But it’s Valentine’s, you stupid prick”
I could almost hear it now.
Maybe I could say to her, “You snotty,
ungrateful, bitch.” I could walk out right there
“Oh! Look who’s sorry now!”
She would weep into my arms and bring
me kisses and home-cooked food.
But the thing is, I know, she wouldn’t care
or cry. In fact, she’d find another guy.
Be married by July!
That’s when I heard another noise. A distant little ping.
It was an e-mail from her saying
“Jude, it’s over, forget it.”
I didn’t need to open the other 54.
I knew exactly what had happened and
my heart sank to my feet.
But then just as I was about
to throw myself out the 6th floor
I stopped and I smiled.
Samantha J. Kennedy is no more.
She’s not my problematic girl
who needs me everyday.
I don’t need to explain myself
when I detour on my way
home. It was like a weights been lifted.
Like God was on my side.
“Oh and on the day before Valetine’s”
my mother tried to sympathize.
All I could think was how it saved
me fifty dollars on M4Magpie.
The title for this poem was given to me in an exercise in class – I know the poem is sketchy but it’s nice to just write sometimes. So I thought I’d share a few of the exercises with you and you could do them if you fancied it.
1. The title is ‘Updates for Your Purchase from M4Magpie’ – what is the poem
2. Your horoscope is: ‘Company from Out of Town could spell trouble’ – write about it
3. Write about a noise that just won’t stop!!!!