Applying for a new job at the BBC

So I wanted to apply for a new job and I got asked to write a few paragraphs about what I can offer, about my interpersonal and communication skills and my hobbies/outside interests which link in with the job. I struggled with this application and …. this… is my first draft.

“What you’re looking for baby, is me.

I am that applicant, the one who demonstrates their interest all over the lavatory walls. The one who is a keen radio listener when it comes to radio porn. I grasp things, not so much your station, but I totally grasp some girls boob!

Attending theatre is often expensive? You got that right mo fo. But I am one hell of a keen listener, and one hell of a keen talker if you give me a moment.

Critical? I can be. Mainly on people’s clothing.

If I knew what it meant to have interpersonal skills, I would certainly let you know. Something here doubts even you understand yourself. You clearly do not have excellent communication skills – so therefore do I really need to?

However I could argue that this masterful plea for this placement is demonstrative of my communication skills. And don’t you tell me how to have a good grasp of basic IT Skills. I know more than basic. My fast and accurate IT skills will put many to shame. I once had a type-off with my best friend Ellie. I won every time. The competition was to see who could type ‘Hello my name is _____’ the quickest (WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE KEYBOARD)

To be honest, I could do it easily without looking at the screen too! I have once or twice just to prove my point, you know?

I am also highly adaptable, once they asked me to transform into a penguin, I took on the challenge and I almost did it, but then someone told me to stop trying.  Something to do with an April fool’s joke – she called me gullible, which I assume is something to do with seagulls. Perhaps she was suggesting it’d be more beneficial for me to transform into  a gull instead of a penguin.

I am aware of the BBC, I made a documentary on how manipulative it is. So… basically you don’t know who you are due to your lack of social skill, I don’t know who you are – we’re all in the same boat here… so why not hire me.

We see eye to eye –like cheetahs and owls do.

Winking dog says youre awesome

cheers mate.”


2 thoughts on “Applying for a new job at the BBC

    • Meg Ash says:

      Haha, I can’t remember now, but this wasn’t the statement I sent off, it was me when I ran out of ideas and made a funny one 😉
      Don’t worry I wouldn’t actually send it like that haha.
      It was for something within radio I think though – it was all only work experience mind you.

      Have a nice Sunday.

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