Just a lil somethingsomething.

Maddie & Mils 

Born Megan (Maddie)  Herdson:
8th July 1993 (aged 4643)
Ellie (Mils) Breeze:
18th September 1992 (aged 4644)
Nationality British/Austrian
Occupation Comedic Duo
Years active: Since before they were born

Maddie and Mils
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopaedia

Maddie and Mils are fictional personas created by the comic double act consisting of Megan Herdson (Maddie) and Eleanor Breeze (Mils). They were primarily created for the 2010 comedy sitcom The 5 of Hearts. However, overtime they achieved wide international exposure for winning Best Friends of the Year award 2009 – today. The girls still live at the ages of 4643/4 and never did die in their late 60s/early 70s as planned. The fame went to their heads and they didn’t want to give it up.




Megan Herdson & Ellie Breeze met each other at Highworth Grammar School for Girls (soon to be for boys too). After a shaky start in which Megan thought Ellie was going to dash her brains out, they soon became best friends.

They have achieved such popularity as a duo that they are hardly ever seen apart on or off screen. (Indeed, it is reported that they are each insured against the other’s death, although the amount is unknown).This has led to them receiving joint nominations for many awards. It is a running joke that many people do not know which of them Megan is, and which Ellie, this is probably due to their uncanny similarities in facial features.

To assist with identification, they follow the 180 degree rule; all their TV appearances and publicity photos have Megan on the right and Ellie on the left but many people still don’t know who is who.

The two were both brought up in upper class kinda guy backgrounds although both are fairly confident they are very hard done by – little do they know of the real ways of life.

Early career

After Megan got over a severe case of Apricot Syndrome she built some television experience with a brief stint on the children’s television series, Bagpuss as the cat herself. However, Ellie was the first of the duo to acquire her place on the BBC Austrian drama Sandvich Grove playing Duncan. A year later (in 2008) Megan joined the cast playing Perkins Jenkins. Their friendship began when their storylines collided, creating a friendship off screen as well as on.

The next time they were to perform together was in 2010 playing spiritless bums in a school play of Little Shop of Horrors in which the girls first met Sir Mark Cheesman. The two were criticised by their teacher, Miss Tucker, as un-enthusiastic and she refused to learn their names. She later apologized on national television after the two girls brought it up on a recent appearance of Have I got News for You.

Megan played a stable boy in the adaptation of the novel Of Mice and Men in her teenage years, a role in which she was likened to a young Mr. Hall.

Music career

After leaving the spotlight, they turned their hand to R&B music, releasing (under their nicknames “Maddie & Mils”) songs such as “Drop it Like it’s Hot (Drop it like it’s hot, Drop it like its hot.)”, “Dynamite” and even an Earth, Wind and Fire cover “Fantasy“. They were mostly famous for the fact they both wore moustaches throughout every music video. Their most famous hit was the BRIT Award nominated “Help I’m Alive” for which they were choreographed by London choreographer Squire Longson (recently raped), who also worked with Tina Turner and Peter Andre. In total the pair released 15 singles and three studio albums.
The duo never had a number one hit in the UK; even their World Cup 2020 song “Football truly does suck” reached only number three, beaten by Ollie Gilbert who was on the show Pop Idol which the duo had watched and lol’d at several times on Youtube.

They went on many tours to promote their singles and albums, undertaking TV and radio interviews. It wasn’t only the UK they toured for promotion; they also went to many other countries including Germany and Austria where they and their music were popular. In Austria, the duo’s song “Let the Sunshine” was number one for several weeks, as well as many other singles and all three of their albums. Success also struck in Germany and other European countries, probably due to these countries being completely superior.
Maddie and Mils were also successful with the hits “R.E.S.P.E.C.T.” in 2011 done as a plee for more recognition after this they wore a moustache for a week to get their point across. Also, “Lifted” in 2014, was successful and achieved greatest success in areas where there were Jews. “Lifted” gained particular critical acclaim in these areas due to their original dance moves done.


Law firm Olswang were commissioned to investigate the 2012 British Comedy Awards when the producers overturned the voting public’s first choice, The Catherine Tate Show in favour of Megan and Ellie’s The Wrong Horse. The incident is also the subject of an investigation by media regulator Ofcom. Jealous twatheads.

Following allegations of fraud in 2017, an investigation by auditors Deloitte Touche Tohmatsu discovered that two shows, Maddie and Mils Saturday Night Show and The Two Show, had defrauded viewers participating in phone-ins. The programmes were subject to a further investigation by Ofcom which found that between January 2013 and October 2016 Maddie & Mils Saturday Night show had:

  • selected competition finalists before the telephone lines were announced as closed
  • These finalists were themselves
  • staggered the selection of competition finalists which meant that viewers entering the competition did not have a fair and equal chance of winning
  • selected finalists on the basis of their suitability to be on television, where they lived and whether they were good looking enough
  • selected an individual already known to the production team to be placed on the shortlist of potential winners and who went on to win the competition – this person was James Green

and between September and October 2015, The Two Show had –

  • on six occasions in the Prize Mountain competition, selected winners based on their good looks
  • failed to account for almost half of the competition entries as they had used them as toilet roll

On 10 September 2018, Megan and Ellie announced, with pom poms on their heads, that the frauds “will never happen again”, insisting that a high-tech system and strict rules will ensure viewers can’t lose out with poorly monitored premium rate phone lines. They then went on to laugh hysterically.

On 30 September 2018, it was reported that the pair were being sued for $30 million by Big Babe and actor Hugh Grant for using “his” name in the House of Fraser. The lawsuit, among other things, alleges trademark infringement and fraud. However, this sparked a long term relationship between Ellie and Hugh and produced Ellie’s first son – Dylan Parsley Grant.

In October 2019, Kelly Brook claimed that Megan and Ellie had been the cause of her removal as 4th judge on Britain’s Got Talent. She claimed that she was asked to leave the show after she upset the pair live. As she had said they were just a pair of immature drug addicts. They caused such a massive fuss that Simon Cowell tried to rape Megan to get her to shut up. Megan however, insists her 11th child: Dexter Simon Cowell was nothing to do with Simon and is her husband James Green’s child.

Yet more items continue to flood this section of Maddie & Mils as it was recently discovered that the two girls had got deeply into trouble in 2009 when at school. The two girls were sitting at their usual picnic table when a group of girls came out – probably to enjoy a nice cup of cocoa. Ellie and Megan immediately took offence. It was said that Megan threw a whole bourbon biscuit at the one who went by the name of ‘The big eyed one.’ Ellie decided to nickname the entire group ‘Short Skirted Clowns’ – as immature as this seems today, the insult was a rude cry for attention from Ellie who was severely lacking confidence after a recent fall out with Aimee over who could do the Avril Lavigne dance better.

The group of girls, to this very day, say they did nothing wrong. Megan and Ellie stand by their morals that every chav / short skirted clown should be heavily punished for looking so revolting and having worse attitudes than themselves.

The three girls on the left later committed suicide, no-one ever knew their names. Except India. But unfortunately she wasn’t one of the 3 main victims.

Later this year Ellie confessed at their funeral that ‘Chavs bring a sort of black humour to our everyday lives and they would be sorely missed if they didn’t exist.’ However Megan added briefly afterwards that these three did take it ‘one step too far.’


They have, albeit infrequently, returned to acting from living the highlife as drug addicts and prostitutes. They played themselves in the film Love Actually (in which Hugh Grant’s character referred to Megan as “Megan or Ellie”). They have returned to their Highworth roots in a one-off tribute to The 5 of Hearts and also by returning to Sandvich Grove for Rachael’s funeral. During the funeral the two got fired for taking the mickey out of the dead woman’s “greasy locks” and “bulldog like face.”

In 2018, the pair starred in the pantomime Snow White And The SevenDwarfs at Sunderland‘s Empire Theatre alongside Breeze’s partner at the time Julian Barratt. The show was financially unsuccessful, making £20,000 less than it cost to stage, with the duo footing a large share of the shortfall. They found this hilarious.
Leighton Herdson (Megan’s eldest brother), creator of the British Sitcom I have no money, had approached Megan & Ellie’s talent agency with a proposal for a new sitcom show entitled The Runners, in which the two are nasty drug dealers, framed with a light hearted soundtrack and canned laughter. Herdson received negative public reaction and narrowly escaped being charged with several accounts of premeditated murder in British courts, and Megan & Ellie refused the offer from the talent agency, saying they were too big to resort back to family shizzle.

Megan and Ellie’s most recent acting appearance was in the most recent Windy Film: The Blow of the Big Time released in April 2026. The film gained mixed reviews about the storyline and sexual innuendos but the pair received generally good reviews for their acting abilities.

It recently came to light that the duo had participated in an unbroadcasted American Idol audition, which was shown on The Two Show to surprise Simon Cowell. They wore baggy clothes to partially obscure their identities. However Simon Cowell realised straight away, saying that Megan didn’t look any frumpier than usual. Megan was annoyed.


In 2059, as part of the BBC’s 300th birthday celebrations, they were back on television fronting The Two Show a celebration of some of BBC’s most annoying evening shows from the past 300 years.

In 2026, a celebration to the show Spitting Image saw Megan and Ellie having their own puppets made. They have also been made into cartoon characters on the children’s version of the comedy show The Bus Stop Gang. Wax works of the duo can also be seen in London’s Madame Tussauds.

In September 2009, they were voted by the general public as number 1 in a poll of TV’s 50 Greatest Best friends. Ant and Dec were most upset.


  • Brit Award Nomination – Best Song & Music Video: “Help I’m Alive”


  • Most Popular Dance Moves ever created (Mr. Brightside & Lifted)


  • Most Popular Novel series since Twilight (The Windy Novels)
  • National Television Awards: Special Recognition Award for being awesome friends – nominated by Alex Found as he did the closed eye, friendly, nod.



  • Most Popular Novel-Film adaptation (Some Like it Windy & The Failure of the Highworth Musical feat. Mr. Ward)
  • Least Popular Entertainment programme (The Two Show)


  • Most Popular Comedy show since The Wrong Horse (The 5 of Hearts Series 8)


  • Most Popular Comedy Show in Austria (Megan & Ellie go Austrian presented by Yohan & Alex Middlesex)
  • British Comedy Awards: Best Comedy Entertainment Personality (Ellie not Megan – Megan was heartbroken)


  • Most Popular Entertainment presenters (Trying to break into Hugh Grant’s House)
  • Most Popular Moustache design in Greg’s Manish Hair Salon (The Val Kilmer created by Megan, Ellie and Val)


  • TV Quick & TV Choice Awards: Best Entertainment Show (The Wrong Horse series 345)
  • Nickelodeon UK Kids Choice Awards 2028: Favourite Funny Person, Best TV presenters and Best Family TV show (Most Haunted with Durham Brown) Megan wasn’t pleased to see Durham won this ‘It’s not funny’ said she, sticking her head in her bag.
  • National Bishop Awards: Most Popular Father and Monk duo


  • TV Quick & TV Choice Awards: Best Ginger
  • TV Quick & TV Choice Awards: Outstanding Students at Middlesex Award



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