There are always times in your life when you find you are the only one of your friends who hasn’t gone on holiday. Here are a few of the things that got me through the time when I was abandoned and rejected by my own friends.
- If there is ever a time to make new friends, it is now.
- Theres that old saying ‘When the cat is away the mouse will play.’ 😉
- Did you know perfectionism in itself is an imperfection? I didn’t.
- Don’t get jealous or sulk around waiting for your friend to return. It is what it is, the only time is NOW! So don’t waste it!
- I don’t think your friends are really worth the trouble – start just casually taking heroin
- For the love of God don’t try to think about what your friends are doing. This will lead to you getting jealous & angry. Well it does if you’re like me.
- If you get to the point of crying, then cry. But if crying doesn’t get the job done, start choking.
- If you get hungry enough, and I don’t think you will, try to eat some Special K, preferably the one with small red berries. But ultimately the choice is yours, I mean if you’re going to go crazy then I recommend Frosties, or if your strapped for cash I believe Tesco’s offer a reasonably priced alternative, Frosted Flakes I believe, don’t quote me on that.
- Tell everyone the truth – tell Lizzie, the next door neighbor’s dog that she isn’t a good person, and tell Jon the post man he has no redeeming qualities.
- Make a woodlouse farm, I’ve tried this, but I forgot to give them some water so they went all crispy.
- You don’t want to be there in Poland, Turkey or Spain anyway, trust me!
- Try to work out why people always say ‘A little bird told me,’ unless your SnowWhite this is never going to be true, so why lie? If you work this one out let me know it really eats away at me.
- Just think for a moment, is anyone trying to kill you? This could save your life..
- Try to work out what ‘Floccinaucinihilipilification’ means– or if you are the more adventurous type just try to pronounce it.
- And finally a tough moral dilemma… ‘When is it OK to lie?’
That probably didn’t keep you going for, what, more than 5 minutes. And your friend is away for 2 weeks? Good luck making it all the way through this bumpy patch in the road then!
GO PLAY OUTSIDE OR SOMETHING